i can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
that don't bother me
i can take a few tears now and then
and just let them out
i'm not afraid to cry
every once in a while
even though going on
with you gone
still upsets me
there are days
every now
and again
i pretend i'm ok
but that's not what gets me
what hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could've been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do
it's hard to deal with the pain
of losing you
everywhere i go
but i'm doing it
it's hard to force that smile
when i see our old friends and i'm alone
still harder
getting up
getting dressed
living with
this regret
but i know
if i could do it over
i would trade
give away
all the words
that i saved
in my heart
that i left unspoken
what hurts the most
is being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could've been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do
................
well
if you haven't guessed already
i am writing this song down for garrett
it really explains how i feel
cause i do
i cry
and it's ok sometimes
but it's hard
to act like everything's ok
to force the smile on my face
whenever i see him at the locker
i kinda gave in today though
i hugged him
maybe a little too long
a little too tight
cause when i left him
i cried
and relived every moment we shared
and especially
the phone call
the call he made that would totally
screw up my life
i can't listen to my
FAVORITE
cascada song anymore
cause it was our song
and it hurts
to dance with my friends to the beat
cause it reminds me of
the first time i heard the song with him
on his ipod
on the band bus
to atlanta
we danced
we laughed
i fell asleep on his shoulder
i'm dying inside
even now
just think about it
my throat is caving in
and i can hardly breathe
i really
truly
NEED
to get over him
but it's too hard
i don't know how i'd get through
life alone
without him in it
not being able to see his blonde head
shining under the fluorescent lights in the halls
not hearing his sarcastic voice when i ask him how his day is going
not smelling the scent of adidas when we walk together
not seeing the plaid and striped shirts and blue jeans
and horrid black shoes he always wears
not seeing the big blue eyes
that once saw straight through my soul
not feeling the prickle of his
too blonde to see
facial hair pulling at my hair as we part to go our separate ways
i deeply miss being able to talk to him
to laugh
and goof off
and be stupid with him
and to be lovers with him
i want it back
i just think it's awkward to be that way with anyone else
cause when i try to imagine it
i think of him
he's a part of me
...forever...
peace
xoxoxo
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